you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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