I just cut my nipple shaving
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize