at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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