Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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