And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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