My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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