Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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