note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize