Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm eating all of the evidence.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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