we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
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Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize