just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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