I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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