I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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