Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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