im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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