Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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