You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
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she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize