I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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