when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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