i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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