Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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