My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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