I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
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The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
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I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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