the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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