Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh god it's open bar.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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