Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
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walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
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Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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