is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize