My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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