Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You're a waste of cheezeits
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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