just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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