I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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