I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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