The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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