you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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