How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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