Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize