tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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