Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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