If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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