i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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