hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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