in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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