last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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