Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize