goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
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If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
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