he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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