Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
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Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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