Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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