oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize