And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize